A big day yesterday. After over 5 weeks I may finally have some answers about my lack of voice. We went to another ENT this morning and he diagnosed what I have as exactly what Jenny thought I have Dysphonia. I'm really relieved I at least know whats causing this. He did not mention those botox shots. I have an appointment with a speech pathologist on Thursday morning. The doctor told me to take a deep breathe and force out the sound with the breathe. Honestly its really painful but the doctor said its going to hurt. Jenny is beyond thrilled. She said she hears my voice getting a little louder. There definitely is hope. I'm very anxious to see whats its going to be like at the speech pathologist. Now its up to me. The only part of yesterday that got me very upset is no one seems to really understand how hard this really is. Mom is not being helpful. She should not say anything at all. Jenny is attacking this like a coach, praising me when she hears a voice. But saying you can do better when she does not hear me. I know she has my best interest in mind. And maybe this will be helpful. But no one knows what it feels like.
Last night when in Starbucks Daniel mentioned he can't wait for me to get my voice back so we could go back to playing Strat-O-Matic. Starting last season I introduced him to Strat hockey. We broke the best players into 8 teams and have our own league. All the team names have been from places in Wyoming. His favorite team to coach is the Gillette Jedi. He liked the name Jedi from Star Wars. That team has Johnathan Toews, Steven Stamkos, Zack Parise, Martin St. Louis among others. I introduced him to Strat baseball a couple of years ago. Thought he never started leagues on his own he really likes playing with me. By the way I found out yesterday that Rush Limbaugh used to play Strat and announce his own games. It makes me so happy to share this with Daniel. Its just Daniel and Daddy time together. Alot of people say Daniel is alot like me. We definitely do have similar interests. There is no sport we won't watch. I guess its natural for a parent to compare their own childhood to their children's. Playing Strat is a connection to my childhood. Devin loves to get Italian Ices when we go to Delish. Getting Italian Ices is totally normal in New York but Delish is the only place in Florida that has real ices. When Devin gets it its like a connection to my childhood. I'm so proud of both of the boys. I can only hope when they are adults they will have alot of happy memories from their childhoods. We may not have money but growing up next to Disney. And going on trips hopefully have given them something to always remember. And they know nobody is more loved!!!!!!!
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